My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Archive for May, 2008

Tattoo #8

May 17th, 2008 | Category: Life,Tattoos

Last night Sara and I went out for desert and a new tattoo. Sara drew it for me, a little piece of her artwork is now on my stomach. It’s quite beautiful…

Thanks to Ed Powell at The Blue Devil for his outstanding work.

7 comments

Radiohead

May 17th, 2008 | Category: Life

The Lights of RadioheadA few weeks ago Sara and I went to see Radiohead. Between the two of us we only knew a hand full of songs, but the show was absolutely fucking awesome. They sounded amazing, but their stage was just gorgeous.  The lighting was insane, I have no idea what it was, but I totally want a set in my room.

It was a really nice evening, Sara and I held each other, surrounded by music. I was happy…

3 comments

Gods in Whitechapel

May 17th, 2008 | Category: Opinions

I recently finished reading Whitechapel Gods, a decently entertaining fantasy novel with a hint of fabulism. Victorian London’s Whitechapel district is tormented by not the Ripper, but rather two mechanical Gods, Mama Engine and Grandfather Clock. After coming to existence on earth, which is never fully explained, we just have to accept it, Mama Engine and Grandfather Clock seal Whitechapel off from the rest of the world making it a soot-filled mechanized nightmare.  The sky is hidden by a vast canopy of steel, and monolithic metal towers loom haphazardly, casting ominous shadows over everything. The air in Whitechapel is thick with factory smoke, barely battled by dimly lit street lamps. Some citizens voluntarily give up their bodies and souls to the Gods. Their hearts are replaced with coal-burning furnaces, their limbs torn off and replaced with mechanical facsimiles. Other citizens are afflicted with “the clacks,” a disease in which mechanical parts grow spontaneously from human tissue, usually resulting in death. The book does an amazing job of creating a dark and truly claustrophobic atmosphere.

Unfortunately, the story itself isn’t anything spectacular, even a little muddled at times. A group of rebels banding together against impossible odds to topple their malevolent oppressors, we’ve read it before. The book’s characters are a little flat and not particularly engaging. While definitely a fairly fun read, I see Whitechapel Gods as a great deal of wasted potential.

1 comment

Print vs. TV

May 14th, 2008 | Category: Life

So, there seems to be a huge split between people who only read the Times article and those who saw the TAL episode.  Basically, people who just read the article tend to see me as some kind of sad, pathetic, kind of unrealistic, tragic figure with a clearly deranged girlfriend.  These people say things like, “I think my family knows that if that ever happened to me they better pull the plug,” and “I’d be friends with him in a heartbeat. I’m impressed by him…totally. But G/F means more than friends, it implies romance and physical interaction which they obviously cannot have…so what would be this girls motivation to be considered his “girlfriend”? I think that is more what we’re all questioning.”  They assume I can’t even leave my room let alone date and make love to a woman.

However, people who actually saw the TAL episode see me as a regular fellow in an unusual situation with a really kick-ass girlfriend.  They say things like, “Well, Mike, it was an absolute triumph!  WOW.  I must admit I was not sure what to expect—perhaps some effort to make you either pathetic or a superhero (the latter being closest to real, of course), but instead I feel like the show really captured you as a complicated, irreverent, loving, independent, evolving, witty, determined, realistic, romantic fellow.  A fellow I know mostly as a boy who has become a man.  Remarkable, really, that less than an hour of film footage could capture all that.”  

I just want to shake people who read that stupid article, vigorously, like a martini. I also appreciate even more the work that Ira and the rest of the TAL crew did.

7 comments

Corrupted by the Internets

May 14th, 2008 | Category: Random Thought

I love that in just two scant posts my blog has turned X-Rated, but the Internets made me do it!

No comments

Astonishingly wrong

May 14th, 2008 | Category: Life

The profound wrongness of this thread was so astonishing that I had to post the following reply.

It’s amazing to me that some of you seem to know absolute facts about my life. Still, let me just clarify a few things.

First, I’m definitely grateful to my mom and family, of course I am. She’s done lots of work to keep me alive. Yet, I was raised to feel like a pretty “normal” person, with no real difference between me and my younger brother save for the fact that he can walk and I can’t. I was never coddled or sheltered from anything. I was raised to know that I’d never climb trees or drive a car, but so what? There’s an entire world of other things to do, but sometimes I’d have to do them differently. It was never instilled in me that I couldn’t do just about anything. I was raised like a typical son, really. So, I think it’s natural that I want to leave the nest.

Secondly, I can’t imagine wanting to “pull the plug.” I like the plug right where it is, plugged in and with a back-up battery. I like my life, I don’t see it as a bunch of losses. I never walked, so I don’t miss that. Any other “losses” have been so gradual that it’s easy to adapt. Honestly, the only difficult thing about my disability is not being able to talk, because that happened quickly and unexpectedly. Still, I’m adapting to that too.

Next, I’m not trying to live “alone,” I’ll always need assistants. Those assistants just won’t be part of my family.

Lastly, Sara and I are together because we have lots of fun. We go to movies, clubs, restaurants, things any couple does. We flew to Boston last December to see an Aimee Mann concert. We have practically everything in common. I courted her and we fell in love. Oh, if sex is “NOT” a possibility for us, then I have absolutely no idea what we were doing Sunday morning.

4 comments

Stop the noise!

May 13th, 2008 | Category: Opinions,Random Thought

I have decided that web sites with embedded audio should be stricken from the internets! They’re not cool, they’re not fun, they’re fucking annoying.  They’re especially bad if your computer is connected to 5.1 surround sound. Thanks to Fandango.com I don’t think my cat will be frequenting my room for some time. Apparently, she doesn’t like pop-up ads to scream at her at dawn, not that I don’t share her sentiment.

At the very least, the coders who invented embedded audio should burn in a car fire, or just have a really really bad headache for several days.

9 comments

Onion Favorites

May 13th, 2008 | Category: Opinions

Debate on the Internets

May 12th, 2008 | Category: Life

Apparently, my St. Times article and my This American Life episode have caused much debate on the Internets.  Much of the confusion comes from the Times photo.  Basically, to some people I look like some kind of robot or some really fucked up plastic doll.  The second topic is whether or not Sara and I can actually have sex.  So, let’s clarify both.

First, I’m neither a Cylon nor a doll.  Hilariously, the photo is one of the better photos taken of me. Honestly, I do look much better in person.  I’m totally aware that I don’t look like a “normal” fellow at all, but I still don’t get the whole “fake doll” thing. I get it a lot more since I got the tube in my throat. My favorite is, “holy shit, that thing’s real???” I hear that often enough around town. I mean, sure, I’m pretty still and quiet, but why in the fuck would someone push a dummy around a bar in a flat wheelchair and talk to it? If I saw me, my first thought would be “wow, genetics fucked that guy over” and not “holy shit, is that a robot?”  Wait, wait…  What if I am actually the fifth Cylon model?  Could I have gone 27 years without knowing it? Okay, I’ve changed my mind about you robot/doll people.  Pure. Genius.

As for sex, I’m a little old fashioned about getting into details, but this time I will.  Sara and I do have sex, lots and lots of sex. I have more sex than my brother and his friends combined. Actual sex, not some kind of metaphorical pretend sex.  We don’t just share longing glances and write each other erotic angst-filled poetry, we go all the way.  It’s a little on the exotic side, but…  I tell her where to touch her and she puts my hand there.  We kiss, we touch, we do everything, sometimes twice.  I can’t really describe the complete sensuality of our sex life without crossing a line that I don’t want to cross.  I’ll just say that when we’re alone together, we don’t hold anything back.  How’d we get to such a place?  Well, I’m told by many that I’m rather charismatic. Also, the white noise made by my breathing machine puts women into some kind of trance.

So, to some it up: Michael Phillips, not a robot/doll, fucked over by genetics, has lots of sex.

5 comments

Tattoos explained

May 05th, 2008 | Category: Life

I’m up to eight tattoos and I explain seven of them here

4 comments

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