Right now
So, right now, I’m at the hospital waiting to hit the O.R. for a fresh trache. Usually, I don’t have my computer, this is a first. The NeuroSwitch recently became Mac OS X native and wireless, so here we are, live blogging.
I’m here, listening to my grunge/rock/folk mix. Kim Gordon’s singing right now, her voice sounds the way sex feels. I’m here, not nervous, I’ve become unaffected by this particular experience. I like my set of doctors and nurses, I adore the drugs, it’s really not an awful experience anymore.
I’m a little melancholy right now, but that isn’t new. I’m thinking about friends I want to see later. If I died in that O.R., whenever I actually go in, I wonder if they know what they mean to me. There’s this woman I love, I’m thinking about her. I’m thinking a lot about her. I miss her right now, but I always miss her to a degree. Being with her is the best thing I’ve ever felt, better than any liquor, better than the drugs I’m about to get, better than I have the skill to write sometimes. I’m thinking things I won’t write here, things that are just for her.
I’m thinking about my life, and how odd I’ve become.
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