My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Archive for July, 2011

Not anything good

July 17th, 2011 | Category: Life

This blog really isn’t anything good, just like I’m not anything good. I’m really not. I screw up everything that means anything. I’m just this broken, awful, thing. I’m not worth anything.

1 comment

Too Tumblr

July 16th, 2011 | Category: Life

So, I heard one too many times that my blog’s new template looked very “Tumblr.” I don’t have my own domain name to have my crazy project, this evolving memoir of mine, looking like a Tumblr site. I mean, I know the blog isn’t anything good now, not for a decent while, really, but still… it’s mine, my project. I’ve put years into this place, it’s mine. It’s not nothing, it’s something. At least, to me it’s something.

I’ll try changing this template, the parts that don’t work. The Italian comments and what-not.

3 comments

Tomorrow

July 15th, 2011 | Category: Life

Tomorrow, I’ll post something not awful tomorrow. My head just isn’t here, not that it’s ever totally here, but it’s less than enough here to write anything that’s worth anything. Not that anything I write is worth much.

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I’m just a zombie

July 14th, 2011 | Category: Creative Flash,Life

I’m just a zombie, living but not. I’m emotionless motion, lifeless life. Going and going nowhere.

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Something not found

July 13th, 2011 | Category: Life

Pretty closet

This is a really shitty post, but whatever.

We cleaned out my closet and my armoire yesterday, practically nothing was spared, old printers (yes, plural), birthday cards, power-bricks to Jesus knows what devices anymore, like, two-hundred-ish DVD movies, pretty much everything went to Goodwill or the trash.

Usually, as I’ve mentioned before, I love just purging everything, I’m the Anti-Hoarder. Almost nothing’s too sentimental, I’m never all, “I might totally need that!” It all just goes. I was supposed to find something in the armoire thorough, I’d never seen it before, but I expected it to be there. I didn’t really know what I’d do with it, really. I’d have kept it, I think. I’d have kept it . I don’t even know what “it” was, but I miss it. I miss it.

Empty armoire

2 comments

The new look stays… for now

July 13th, 2011 | Category: Life

So, I think I’ll leave the new look, for now. I think this theme is better overall. The sidebar’s better, the article font’s more readable (I think), the comments page isn’t in Italian, and so on.

Am I wrong?

7 comments

I want to go home

July 12th, 2011 | Category: Life

Nothing feels good, I’m all kinds of scared. I hear rain outside, tapping at my window, making it so I can’t not think about someone, making me feel so alone. I can’t fall asleep, I’m too scared of my bad dreams. I want puppies and flowers, I want to go home. I want someone to hold me close and tell me everything’s okay now, I don’t have to be scared and alone anymore. It’s okay to sleep, “I’m right here, don’t be scared. I love you, I’m here.” I want to go home, I don’t want to keep feeling all this sad and scared  and dark.

I know it’s my fault, I know…

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A new look

July 12th, 2011 | Category: Life

So, I’ve changed the look of the blog….

Do we like this look or the old one?

5 comments

Lion Beard

July 11th, 2011 | Category: Life

More scruff than an actual beard

So, I’m really not a “beard guy,” I’m just not. Some fellows wear a beard well, they look rugged, or sophisticated, or whatever. I don’t. Still, right now, I kind of have one. Really, it’s more scruff than a beard. I quit the shaving a few weeks ago, and I definitely look… scruffy. It started out of apathy, I just sort of don’t care enough to have a razor put to my face. I’m thinking I’ll leave it until Mac OS X 10.7 (Lion) is out. I’ve takes to calling it my “Lion Beard,” but this is possibly me just giving my apathy an excuse. Who knows?

1 comment

Started writing

July 10th, 2011 | Category: Life

So, I tried writing, started writing, some flash fiction today, but it didn’t go anywhere. I just couldn’t, the words didn’t come bleeding out of me. I’m just not here, I’m so not here.

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