Archive for July, 2011
Not anything good
This blog really isn’t anything good, just like I’m not anything good. I’m really not. I screw up everything that means anything. I’m just this broken, awful, thing. I’m not worth anything.
1 commentToo Tumblr
So, I heard one too many times that my blog’s new template looked very “Tumblr.” I don’t have my own domain name to have my crazy project, this evolving memoir of mine, looking like a Tumblr site. I mean, I know the blog isn’t anything good now, not for a decent while, really, but still… it’s mine, my project. I’ve put years into this place, it’s mine. It’s not nothing, it’s something. At least, to me it’s something.
I’ll try changing this template, the parts that don’t work. The Italian comments and what-not.
3 commentsTomorrow
Tomorrow, I’ll post something not awful tomorrow. My head just isn’t here, not that it’s ever totally here, but it’s less than enough here to write anything that’s worth anything. Not that anything I write is worth much.
Comments are off for this postI’m just a zombie
I’m just a zombie, living but not. I’m emotionless motion, lifeless life. Going and going nowhere.
Comments are off for this postSomething not found
This is a really shitty post, but whatever.
We cleaned out my closet and my armoire yesterday, practically nothing was spared, old printers (yes, plural), birthday cards, power-bricks to Jesus knows what devices anymore, like, two-hundred-ish DVD movies, pretty much everything went to Goodwill or the trash.
Usually, as I’ve mentioned before, I love just purging everything, I’m the Anti-Hoarder. Almost nothing’s too sentimental, I’m never all, “I might totally need that!” It all just goes. I was supposed to find something in the armoire thorough, I’d never seen it before, but I expected it to be there. I didn’t really know what I’d do with it, really. I’d have kept it, I think. I’d have kept it . I don’t even know what “it” was, but I miss it. I miss it.
2 commentsThe new look stays… for now
So, I think I’ll leave the new look, for now. I think this theme is better overall. The sidebar’s better, the article font’s more readable (I think), the comments page isn’t in Italian, and so on.
Am I wrong?
7 commentsI want to go home
Nothing feels good, I’m all kinds of scared. I hear rain outside, tapping at my window, making it so I can’t not think about someone, making me feel so alone. I can’t fall asleep, I’m too scared of my bad dreams. I want puppies and flowers, I want to go home. I want someone to hold me close and tell me everything’s okay now, I don’t have to be scared and alone anymore. It’s okay to sleep, “I’m right here, don’t be scared. I love you, I’m here.” I want to go home, I don’t want to keep feeling all this sad and scared and dark.
I know it’s my fault, I know…
Comments are off for this postLion Beard
So, I’m really not a “beard guy,” I’m just not. Some fellows wear a beard well, they look rugged, or sophisticated, or whatever. I don’t. Still, right now, I kind of have one. Really, it’s more scruff than a beard. I quit the shaving a few weeks ago, and I definitely look… scruffy. It started out of apathy, I just sort of don’t care enough to have a razor put to my face. I’m thinking I’ll leave it until Mac OS X 10.7 (Lion) is out. I’ve takes to calling it my “Lion Beard,” but this is possibly me just giving my apathy an excuse. Who knows?
1 commentStarted writing
So, I tried writing, started writing, some flash fiction today, but it didn’t go anywhere. I just couldn’t, the words didn’t come bleeding out of me. I’m just not here, I’m so not here.
Comments are off for this post