Archive for November, 2013
Tattoo #73
Tattoo #73, by Jessica, Deja Vu Tattoo, Baton Rouge
So, I wrote about this tattoo as part of larger narrative, but I also want to write about the tattoo itself.
This tattoo is from the song, I Can’t Get My Head Around It, which is off of Aimee Mann’s, The Forgotten Arm, a record that isn’t just a collection of songs that share a theme, rather, it tells the story of a washed-up junkie ex-boxer, his girlfriend, and their totally fucked up relationship. To me, the songs definitely stand alone, but you don’t get the full emotional impact of the record until you listen from beginning to end, at least once. It’s a really beautiful, really sad story of a relationship in which love just isn’t enough to make everything okay. I was smack in the middle of that sort of relationship right around when The Forgotten Arm came out, and while I absolutely love the record, certain songs, I still skip them sometimes.
Anyway, this tattoo had been on my list for a long time, these lyrics really hit me the first time I heard them, and ever since. I guess I was just waiting for the right time to do it, which ended up being my trip to Baton Rouge for an Aimee Mann show. Baton Rouge was one of those I’m either going to go, and die, or it’s going to be a fucking blast trips. I felt like shit the morning we left, I spent the previous day in the hospital getting a fresh trach, I was exhausted. Still, nothing was going to make me not go. I would have had to die to not go. It wasn’t easy to go, but I wasn’t going to miss Baton Rouge, seeing Aimee Mann, being there with someone I love.
“…kicking is hard, but the bottom’s harder…”
Kicking is hard, but sinking into cold nothingness is worse. I’ve hit bottom before, physically, emotionally, but I’ve always been able to kick my way back up. One time, I won’t be able to, but we’re not there yet.
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Random repaired tattoos
Placeholder…
Dumb…
I got these repaired last Sunday…
Oh, and this one… I re-wrote the post.
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I didn’t die, and what-not
So, I didn’t die! I’m a little sore, a little tired still, but I’m not awful. Definitely tired.
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Okay, so… waiting
Okay, so, I DID doze off and woke up at 4:34 am, but I hadn’t slept in two-ish days, and I had a busy night…
Last night, I got a new tattoo that takes up much of my leg, then my friend, Colt, was nice enough to touch up three that faded. He has done around half of my tattoos, he’s spectacular. I’ll post about the new tattoo after my trach change, unless by some off chance I accidentally die. This is unlikely.
I’m waiting to go back for the trach right now, the waiting is almost worse than actually getting it done. It’s really something you just want over, you don’t want to sit, thinking about it three hours. Though, that’s pretty much how it goes.
So, I wait, thinking about someone I love, thinking about her eyes. So much sunshine in those latte-colored eyes, sunshine enough to chase away all my dark.
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Up at 5
T have to get up at 5 am, for my trach change. I won’t bother trying to sleep, so I’ll post this, then write something better.
