My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

May 17

Angels and Demons (vast spoilers)

Category: Opinions

So, I went to see Angels and Demons and it was really boring, so I must have fallen asleep. I mean, honestly, how many stories do we need about the Catholic Church being secretive, backward-thinking, and often evil?

At any rate, I must have dozed off, because I think I had a crazy dream. I dreamt the movie involves a bomb made out of anti-matter, and this bomb is going to destroy Vatican City. So, to save the Vatican, Ewan McGregor, who’s a priest, grabs the bomb, jumps in a helicopter and flies way up in the sky above Saint Peter’s Square. The bomb, made of anti-matter, detonates high enough above the city only to cause minor damage. Oh, and thank Christ, Ewan parachutes safely away. Then I woke up, and the rest was very predictable.

The end.


10 Comments so far

  1. Calley May 18th, 2009 12:11 am

    I saw it too. Did you read the book? I didn’t. But you knew right away that Ewan was an evil priest. Because he’s, well. Ewan. Like he would be a good priest, of all things.

  2. undeadbydawn May 18th, 2009 12:26 am

    Given the complete pile of contemptible dredge that was The DaVinci Code, it can surprise no-one that this is as bad if not worse.

    I’m actually a little surprised you wasted your time to go see it. Surly you had better options? I’m honestly hoping A&D bombs horribly [no pun intended] purely so Ron Howard stops making Dan Brown films.

  3. michael May 18th, 2009 12:42 am

    Calley: I was hoping he’d be elected Pope.

    undeadbydawn: My brother wanted to go, and I didn’t have anything better to do.

  4. Jeff J. May 18th, 2009 1:29 am

    OH Gawd! The only redeeming quality of this movie was Hanks in a Speedo. I cannot believe an otherwise great actor would play this part without having signed a contract before reading the script.

  5. Calley May 18th, 2009 2:16 am

    Pope Ewan? There would be a waiting list for baptisms.

    …I would be on just such a list. 8D

  6. SaltyDroid May 18th, 2009 2:16 am

    No matter how bad it was … it HAD to be better than actually reading Dan Brown!

  7. MagnoliaFly May 18th, 2009 5:53 am

    Your wish did not come true:
    Da Vinci Code sequel Angels and Demons has soared to the top of the US and Canada box office chart, taking $48m (£31.4m) in its first weekend

    Maybe that will be all they earn. I made the mistake of wasting my time to try and slog through the DaVinci Code and somehow thought the movie might be better. Dan Brown should be stricken from writing anything ever again because his writing is terrible.

    This coming from someone who has a deep appreciation for anti-religious stories.

  8. espo May 20th, 2009 9:00 am

    So I was reading the above and totally pronounced Ewan as Eeee Whan in my head while reading. Then thought who in the hell would name their kid Eeee Whan. Yeah I have no excuses I’m not even blond anymore.

  9. Jeff P. May 20th, 2009 1:27 pm

    A jedi would.

  10. ultrafknbd May 21st, 2009 12:12 am

    I think it isn’t unwise to root for the anti-matter.