My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

May 11

Star Trek

Category: Opinions

Let me start by saying that I’ve never liked Star Trek in any of its forms. However, I really loved the latest version of Star Trek. I don’t care that none of the science and technology made any sense, I don’t even care that some of the acting was paper thin, it was just flat out fun to watch. I felt like I was watching Star Wars, before Lucas had his breakdown.


14 Comments so far

  1. Jeff May 11th, 2009 11:51 pm


    I especially enjoyed the flash back to the summer when Spock and Kirk first meet (meat?).

    Turns out they took a summer job herding Tribbles on the planet Fubar. It was a very beautiful planet and the Tribbles mostly just ate and fucked; so the boys began to get bored. One night Kirk started licking Spock’s pointy ears and then they had ever so hot man-on-Vulcan ass sex (who knew Valcan’s have two cocks and four balls?)!

    Kirk really wants to settle down with Spock, and start a farm but Spock’s parents are like so xenophobic and are like “Valcan’s are so better than those dirty rotten humans – they only have one dick and two balls and like totally rounded ears! Freaks!”

    Kirk finally tells Spock how he feels and they have a fight. Kirk says, “I [pause] wish I [pause] could quit you.” And Spock says, “That would be illogical.”

    Kirk ends up in a galaxy far far away and starts banging illegal aliens. This gets him killed (not really – we find out later).

    Anyway, after Spock hears of Kirk’s death, he smells Kirks uniform (it smells like Tribble’s and dick btw) and he thinks to himself, “If I could only have been more emotionally available.”

    Suddenly an acoustic guitar plays slowly and I cried like a junior high school girl.

  2. michael May 11th, 2009 11:56 pm

    Jeff: Um, okay…

  3. Kitty May 12th, 2009 5:28 am

    Cheese and rice you guys.

    If you’re going to post spoilers, you should hide them under a roll over thingie.

    No point in going NOW.

  4. art May 12th, 2009 5:47 am

    you are one funny guy. I love the movie too – the iMax version was intense – the actor that played Spock was weak though – I love the McCoy character!

  5. Kara May 12th, 2009 6:04 am

    There was one bit of science that was somewhat on the money. In the beginning, when that guy got sucked out of the hull and into space, the moment the camera angle switched from interior to exterior… there was silence. I thought that was pretty neat.

  6. Jeff P. May 12th, 2009 9:16 am

    Wow, so they DO have sex! No wonder you liked the movie so much.

    Is it just me (obviously not) or does it seem like there are an awful lot of Jeffs who frequent this blog? I’m not complaining though. A blog can never have too may Jeffs.

    That’s interesting that you compare it to Star Wars. I saw someone do that yesterday on a message board I frequent. Makes me want to see the movie even more. I’ve always liked Star Trek though, especially all the various TV series. Is the Star Trek universe in general too optimistic and hopeful for you Michael? 🙂

  7. michael May 12th, 2009 9:33 am

    Jeff P: Sure.

  8. Jeff J. May 12th, 2009 12:00 pm

    Jeff P: We are kinda like a fungus, uh?

  9. Chike May 12th, 2009 5:20 pm

    I agree with Michael Trek is too optimistic.

  10. Eileen May 12th, 2009 7:13 pm

    I have seen all the Star Trek movies, and the shows, and have enjoyed them all-good, bad, dark or ugly… They are fun and insightful. They are science fiction. They are STORIES of hope and heroes. They are just meant to be enjoyed. And I thought Zachary Quinto as Spock was fabulous.

  11. michael May 12th, 2009 8:07 pm

    Jeff P and Chike: I’m not so fucked up that I can’t enjoy something optimistic. I’m actually not BIG on sci-fi, I usually find it kind of boring. I mean, the reason I like the original Star Wars is the Force, which, I think, is a fantasy element.

  12. Jeff P. May 12th, 2009 9:56 pm

    I have to say I definitely prefer the Star Wars films (the first three) over the Star Trek movies. Star Trek worked a lot better as a television series in my opinion. I’m definitely a fan of sci-fi, but more in the literary sense. I’m actually pretty picky about what sci-fi oriented films and TV series I like. Just so you know I’m definitely not assuming that you can’t enjoy something optimistic. It just seems to me that you might prefer darker material. Sorry if it seemed like I was making assumptions.

  13. R-Man-clone May 14th, 2009 11:56 am

    ok…Mr. Lithium,

    You are walking down a dark alley, you are confronted by 5 muggers, father-rapers and mother stabbers. Do you want Luke by your side with his light sword or Kirk with his phaser? I take the phaser, stun them all with one blast and high tail it back to nearest gin-martini-dive and put Patsy on the juke box and relax with a cheap bourbon. You Lukers are still back at the alley swirling around with light swords looking for a black hole to escape.

  14. Jeff P. May 15th, 2009 3:11 pm

    I don’t know, but you can get anything you want at Alice’s restaurant.