Oct 26
Guest blogger
So, I have a friend who has a blog, and it’s a great blog, but she needs a break from it. She’s in the mood for some anonymity, a little extra creative freedom. To that end, she’ll be doing some guest blogging here, whatever pops into her head.
I’ll be blogging as usual, I’ll just have some company from time to time.
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Oct 25
Saw V
My being empty aside, Saw V was ridiculously fun to watch.
Maybe my expectations were, but I found it so much better than Saw IV in every possible way. I’m afraid to write too much, Saw kind of hinges on twists, but one scene in particular proved that we all need a trache. Unlike Saw IV, I felt like the violence in Saw V had purpose, which is really all I ask.
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Oct 25
Falling
Falling asleep thinking about someone, to have them next to me. I wonder what it would be like to hold her hand, softly touch her face, feel her breath against me. I wonder, and I sleep.
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Oct 24
Off to Saw
Oct 23
Define Torture Porn
Define senseless Torture Porn: The Strangers.
I think the film has ten minutes of boring dialogue, a few mildly “scary” moments and absolutely nothing else. Oh, wait, Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman get totally fucked up for no apparent reason. So, there’s that, which isn’t really my scene, but if you dig it, great.
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Oct 23
Belly up
So, last night I’m at game 1 of the Major League Baseball World Series when a 70ish year-old fellow says regarding me, “he looks like he’s about to go belly up.” To which I think, “thank you, you made the blog.
A drunk girl really liked my poppy tattoo, that’s always fun. I get compliments from sober people too, but the drunk people are special.
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Oct 22
Half of me
Oct 21
Not talking to Mike
Apparently, today, October 21st is “Not talking to Mike” day. I accidentally noticed the day on a Google Calendar. I guess I’m flattered to have an entire calendar day devoted to me being socially outcast, but I see potential inconveniences. I have a doctor’s appointment today, that could be weird. I guess she could read the chart aloud to no one in particular, but direct questions seem out. I’m also having dinner with a friend tonight, that could be awkward. I suppose she could talk to my assistant, so long as neither of them talks to me.
Though, there are people I don’t want to talk to, so today could be relaxing too. Generally, I’m upbeat about “Not talking to Mike” day. I think that in many ways it will bring people together.
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Oct 20
The fresh trache
The fresh trache is in and it really went quite smoothly, some pain, but the drugs were very kind.
Now, I have other problems to tackle. Boredom. Loneliness. Oh, and Darfur.
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Oct 20
Getting a fresh trache
So, in a few hours I have another trache change, and I’m nervous about it. I’m always nervous.
I tried talking to Sara, but, silence. I shouldn’t have tried, but I guess I couldn’t not. She’s always been my last thought in the O.R. before the drugs take me happily away. I wish I hadn’t been such a fuck up, but I can’t go back. No one can go back. I’m not strong, or brave, and I hate that I’m not. I should have been better, but I wasn’t.
I want to wake up in that druggy bliss, but if I don’t, that’d be okay. I’m really tired.
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