I’m out awhile
I’ve decided that I need to really examine my life and focus on my writing, as well as reading more. I have so many books piled up. Doing this is going to require some solitude, a good deal of it. To this end, I’ll no longer do any IMing, texting, or social tweeting, until I fix what’s broken in me.
I will still reply to blog comments and e-mail correspondence, and of course, in-person interaction.
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Tattoo #40
Tattoo by Clare, Las Vega Tattoo, Ybor City
So, there’s this Elliott Smith song, Placeholder, off his second posthumously released album, New Moon. To me, the song is basically Elliott saying that his work, all the stuff he writes, it’s all just temporary. He’s just a placeholder until something else comes along. Though, he’s talking about himself as a person too, he’s just a placeholder for the people in his life.
I’ve thought about myself the same way many times, the song can remind me so much of me. So, when I was really very dark a few months ago, this tattoo felt very appropriate.
I don’t get the sad tattoos and regret them later. They’re not constant reminders of darkness, but rather, they show me the entire road I had to take to feel something good again. It’s odd, but it’s really kind of spectacular to look back on this lonely place and that empty place from someplace beautiful, seeing times that I could have broken, but didn’t. Then again, they could all add up to failure at the end of everything, but I won’t really know until I got there.
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