2008 Nightmare Ticket
In a shocking display of political solidarity, the Onion is reporting that Senators Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John McCain have broken party lines to form a single triple presidential ticket dubbed by observers as the “2008 Nightmare Ticket.” While many already fear that the trio will only plunge our nation deeper into despair and hopelessness, I, for one, welcome the triple-threat of “ClinbamaCain” and cannot wait to see where their contradictory policies take us.
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Next Vote Takes All
According to the Onion, embattled Presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton, has proposed a “Next Vote Takes All” scheme to finally decide who will get the nod for Democratic Presidential nomination. Were I Obama, I’d go for it. He totally wouldn’t lose
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Onion Favorites
I rather enjoy reading The Onion. Real news is everywhere, reality constantly punches me in the face, so a little fake news is a nice break. I figure every so often I’ll post some favorite stories.
Lately I loved:
• Undercover Fireman Infiltrates Three-Alarm Blaze
• Michael Gondry Entertained For Days By New Cardboard Box
• Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow-Up United States
• Watching TV Shows On DVD The Way To Do It, Reports Area Man
• New ‘Get The Fuck Outta The Road’ Program Aims To Increase Pedestrian Safety
• Dying Newspaper Trend Buys Nation’s Newspapers Three More Weeks
• Commas, Turning Up, Everywhere
• New Chemical Weapon ‘Ennui Gas’ Induces Listlessness, Dissatisfaction With Life
• Area Man Makes It Through Day
Do comment on my selection.
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