My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Jan 4

Just something

Category: Life

So, right now, I’m sitting here, alone in my purple and red room. Fargo is on the tv in HD, I’m writing this post. I’m writing because my calendar says I’m supposed to be writing. I’m trying to give myself more structure, more focus, little goals to meet so I don’t feel so aimless. I’ve created to-do lists, action items, a map of my time. I’m so lost these days, I feel like I’m drowning sometimes.

No, I don’t need Jesus, or to listen to happy music, or to down a bunch of anti-depressants. Please don’t write me and tell me I need any of the previous. I don’t, really. Jesus, and Dave Matthews, and Zoloft won’t fix me and make me pretty again.


11 Comments so far

  1. Katy Alexander January 4th, 2010 9:39 pm

    The atheist in me wants to comment… but I’ll leave those opinions out.

    By the way, I fucking love your room.

  2. redandjonny January 4th, 2010 9:45 pm

    Someone needs to re kill Jesus.

    I hope the next time he comes back to fantasy land, someone stabs him in the neck with a crack pipe and he dies screaming in the street. I’d love to see how christians make an effigy of that one. Would they wear a crack pipe around their necks? Or make statues of a guy screaming on the ground holding his neck?

    How awesome would that be?

  3. michael January 4th, 2010 9:46 pm

    Katy: We love Atheist comments.

  4. Katy Alexander January 4th, 2010 9:52 pm

    Good to know Michael. I’m tolerant, so I would never want to step on anyone’s toes…..

    Even if most Christians want to step on mine. 😀 Ironyyyyyyy.

  5. jadelennox January 4th, 2010 10:35 pm

    Jesus, and Dave Matthews, and Zoloft won’t fix me and make me pretty again.

    But what will? Plastic surgery? Maybelline and Estee Lauder? A blown out hairdo?

    A new tat? 😀

  6. Lauren January 4th, 2010 11:16 pm

    I would be much more concerned if Dave Matthews WERE what you needed.

  7. Steph January 6th, 2010 8:32 am

    Well done!

    How many of us could make our lives better by setting and meeting one small goal each day.

    Alright dammit. You’ve inspired me to tackle the mountain of laundry.

  8. Belle January 6th, 2010 12:05 pm

    Eckhart Tolle ?

  9. Belle January 6th, 2010 1:07 pm

    Wanted to let you know Colt has gone out of town for a few months.

  10. NYCMan January 6th, 2010 5:21 pm

    As a man we need to strive towards something. As a human we need to solve problems.

    Find something and act upon it. Write a book. Create a vlog. Do something ambitious. Do some good. Do anything at all.

    Lack of action is created by impotent goals. Depression by being smacked around in life and without a way to vent it or no way to fight back. Animals show signs of depression if they are constantly beat and they have no way to fight back. They eventually give up.

    So are you just going to sit around and do nothing – just survive like most americans? Or are you going to act and create some meaning?

  11. Audrey February 7th, 2010 1:09 am

    My boyfriend and I just finished watching the episode of This American Life with you featured, and I just want to tell you that I think you’re so awesome. You have every right to give up and say “Fuck you, world!”, and yet you’re still functioning more than most of America. Stay focused and keep writing, people care what you have to say, I know we do.