My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Sep 8

Dead inside

Category: Life

I feel dead inside, nothing feels good or beautiful. I want to feel like me again. I want to write again. I want things to feel warm and safe and pretty, nothing’s pretty. Nothing’s warm and safe.


7 Comments so far

  1. Marc September 8th, 2011 1:44 am

    Michael I have posted twice before and I’m going to give it one more shot. When you say that “I feel dead inside, nothing feels good or beautiful.” You are describing a person who is profoundly depressed. You are unlikely to get out of the hole your mind has dug for you unless you seek medical advice ASAP. You need to be on some type of medication…an anti-depressant like Lexapro for example that will help you think clearly. Your friend on this blog want you to be, happy, to write more and live a better life. But it won’t happen unless you are will to try something new. Again your loneliness, depression and frustration are smothering your love for live. You desperately need clarity of thought. Please talk to your doctor. There is another way. Good luck and thank you!


  2. michael September 8th, 2011 1:59 am

    Marc: I really do appreciate your concern, it’s very kind. However, drugs definitely aren’t what I need. I promise.

  3. Tired September 8th, 2011 2:05 am

    You’re not alone. I don’t feel like waking up anymore, and I have four young kids who depend on me. Maybe we’ll meet someday in a “better” place. Listen to “Sing me to Sleep” by the Smiths. I feel like it was written for me. I hope we both feel better soon.

  4. Cady September 8th, 2011 2:18 am

    I read this wonderful list of Writer’s prompts and thought I would post it for you. So many things on here myself and I bet other would love to know about you, if you feel like sharing with us.

    I feel bad posting behind this Marc guy because I disagree with him. Life is a drug. Why don’t you try new crazy things. Spend all day writing in a busy place where you can people watch. Go local places you have never even seen but have maybe heard good things about, ask other people for cool hang outs or ideas. Go to a park you have never seen. Like street fairs, or other gatherings. Open yourself up to new experiences. It can really heal wounds + spark creativity.

  5. michael September 8th, 2011 2:24 am

    Tired: Your kids love you, they need you to wake up, every day. I know things are hard, really hard, but you have to fight and try, and keep trying. Let’s both try harder. How’s that?

  6. michael September 8th, 2011 2:39 am

    Cady: I absolutely agree, there’s a massive difference between clinical depression and the depression that sets in when life takes a really bad turn.

    You live in Tampa, want to go for coffee? Is that crazy? :-p

  7. Marc September 8th, 2011 3:10 pm

    Michael I agree that there is a massive difference between clinical depression and the depression that sets in when life takes a really bad turn.I’m for whatever works … whether it’s watching a movie, being with friends or if you have to…taking medication. I read your blog everyday. I simply want to see you get better,be happier and write more if you want to. When you seem depressed I feel a responsibility to help….because you are helping us….making our lives more fulfilling with your insights and observations. I’m not a doctor, but if the trend continues there’s no shame in asking for his (or her) advice. Keep all options open… whatever works. Thanks.