My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

May 9

My face

Category: Life

So, I’ve somehow managed to injure my face. I have this astonishing pain on the right side of my face, above my upper-lip. My doctors think something’s gone screwy with my trigeminal nerve, but they don’t know how, or why, or if that’s even the actual problem. We kerryknow it’s not dental, or an infection, or a tumor, or fluid. I got this spontaneous bruise, then everything went crazy. The bruise left, the pain stayed, and that spot on my face is hard to the touch, and IT REALLY HURTS. I once broke my femur, this is worse, because it doesn’t stop. My femur was only bad when I moved. This, this hurts all the time. The pain medicine helps, but when it wears off, like it’s doing right now, I can hardly think straight.

I’ll write more later.


3 Comments so far

  1. melissa May 10th, 2012 1:58 am

    oh crap, that sucks. Feel better!

  2. Alex May 23rd, 2012 1:51 am

    John Steinbeck, to his son Thom:

    November 10, 1958

    Dear Thom:

    We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

    First – if you are in love – that’s a good thing – that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

    Second – There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you – of kindness, and consideration and respect – not only the social respect of manners but the greatest respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

    You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply – of course it isn’t puppy love.

    But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know that better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it – and that I can tell you.

    Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

    The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

    If you love someone – there is no possible harm in saying so – only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

    Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

    It sometimes happens that what you feel inside is not returned for one reason or another – but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

    Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I am glad you have it.

    We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

    And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens – The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.



  3. John B May 23rd, 2012 11:25 am

    Hi Michael, I hope you feel better soon. You haven’t written in a little while. You know I experienced something very similar to what you describe, except for the pain was in my ass. The Dr. Said the only cure was to get rid of my mother in law!. She is still around, but luckily the pain only comes once in a while.