My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Apr 30

Tattoo #68

Category: Life,Tattoos
Tattoo by Fish, Doc Dog's Las Vegas Tattoo, Ybor City

Tattoo by Fish, Doc Dog’s Las Vegas Tattoo, Ybor City

So, this tattoo is from possibly my favorite Aimee Mann song, It’s Not, which is off of one of my top ten favorite records, Lost in Space. It’s Not is also possibly the saddest song ever written.

When I got this tattoo I was thinking about the last line of the song… “…and I believe it’s you who could make it better, though it’s not… no, it’s not…” That line, I always see Monica’s face when I hear it. I see her face, and feel the wasted years, and I wish so hard that I could take it all back, but I can’t. I wish I heard the song the way I hear it now, way back when, the first time I looked in her eyes.


4 Comments so far

  1. John May 1st, 2013 1:25 pm

    Thank you for sharing, not only the tattoo, but your feelings. I know what it is like to lose someone you so deeply love. The pain can feel unbearable.

    Why’d she leave you?

    Well regardless, just always remember, you have a lot of people who care about you.

  2. michael May 1st, 2013 1:45 pm

    John: I left her… She treated me like a toy, like a good, loyal dog. She kept me around so she wouldn’t be alone, but didn’t ultimately want me

  3. John May 1st, 2013 4:25 pm

    Interesting… She sounds beautiful, the way you describe her and especially her eyes.

    I hope you didn’t misinterpret her intentions. Her “keeping you around” must have held value to her more than just so she wouldn’t be alone. It sounds like she treated you well and made you happy. You are quite unique, with many talents and a good soul, so it is not hard to understand why she would want to be with you.

    Nobody wants to be alone, hence why solitary confinement is one of the most severe punishments.

    It sounds like she did want you. Can you get her back into your life? Even if only as a friend and not a lover?

  4. michael May 2nd, 2013 3:03 pm

    John: You’re only seeing snapshots of her, of us. I haven’t written the bad parts, the ways she hurt me, not directly. You can still see them though, in my fiction, and in my tattoos.