My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…
Archive for May 28th, 2008

Crucifix of Comfort +12

May 28th, 2008 | Category: Life,Random Thought

So, I spent most of today at the hospital testing out a new ventilator, the ultra sophisticated LTV-1200. For such tests, you get admitted into the ICU as an outpatient. I’m kind of a small fellow, so I usually end up in the pediatric ICU, their hardware is just better suited for me. You know you’re close to the peds ICU when you look up at the ceiling panels and see what I imagine is meant to be cheerful artwork. However, in reality, these hand-painted works of “art” are often astonishingly creepy. For instance, allow me to present the Crucifix of Comfort +12.


Whenever I’m nervous and afraid of my own death, looking up and seeing the brutal device of Christ’s end always makes me feel better.



May 28th, 2008 | Category: Life,Random Thought

A reader commented…

“I don’t know, and think (hope) I may never know, how you feel. If something does happen to me though, I’d like to handle it with the grace that you do. Everyone has dark moments, not everyone can pull themselves up out of them.”

Honestly, I don’t feel like I show any particular amount of grace. I screw up. I get nervous. I’ve been known to cope with stress by way of drugs and alcohol. I get melancholy. I sometimes still feel quite lost. None of that seems graceful to me. I am, however, a persistent fellow. I have never been able to give up on things that I really want. No matter how down or frustrated I get, no matter how I fuck things up, the Neo in me always gets up and says, “no.” I’m ridiculously flawed and ridiculously persistent.

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