My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

So, today has been crazy, one of those days where everybody’s mad at you and you really don’t know why.

And just maybe I’m to blame for all I’ve heard…

I don’t know. I’m just tired. My face hurts today, that never helps. I don’t think right, say the right things.

Tomorrow will be different. Today is not the day for writing, but then there’s tomorrow.

So, we have a few suggestions, but there’s still time for a few more… something crazy!

I’m writing tomorrow…

So, does anybody have any requests? Things YOU want to see posted?

Essays about kittens in dance?

Turtles in crossed genre sci-fi/horror/erotica?

My relationship with Elizabeth Taylor?

I’ll write about anything… just ask…

So, on my 32nd birthday, the last day of 2012, I woke up with my girlfriend, to her beautiful latte-colored eyes smiling at me. “Happy birthday, Michael Phillips” with a kiss. I was really happy, being with her makes me feel like I’ve won some sort of secret lottery, the good kind, not the kind where you get hit in the face with rocks. Still, I’m me, so I was uneasy too. I’m always uneasy on my birthday, I don’t like getting older, another year nearer to the end of me. I just don’t like it. In my head, I still feel like I’m 27, I still like making love at 2 AM, zombies, Nirvana, goth clubs, dive bars… Physically, I just don’t feel 27, and it bothers me. Okay, absolutely nothing will ever cause me to turn down my lover at 2 AM, but the goth clubs, staying out until last call, I get tired easier than I used to, back when I was 27.

It was going out at night that I was thinking about all day. I wanted to show my love a night out, I wanted to kiss her at midnight in some dark, smokey club, feeling her against me, feeling the music envelope us.

I also woke up tired, and nervous, I wanted us to stay in bed, kissing at midnight under a cozy warm blanket. It was also fucking cold out, another reason not leave my comfy chamber.

So, of course, we went out. Whenever I’m really nervous, and really tired, I always try very hard to do the opposite of doing what’s easy. I’d much rather die on some adventure than in some tiny room.

So, we went out, went to Ybor City, home of my tattoo shop, Doc Dog’s Las Vegas Tattoo, and the best bars and clubs around.

On my birthday, my brother takes me anywhere I want to go, until there’s nowhere left to go, which is spectacular of him. He gives up his New Year’s Eve to give me my birthday.

The tattoo shop was closed, so no new tattoo, but we went to my favorite bar, The Boneyard. Back when I drank, I was a regular. I ran into a pal who’s also a regular, who, along with his lady, was wearing a giant bunny suit for some reason. He had a spare giant bunny suit and offered it to me. Of course, I took it. I mean, what better way to totally turn on your girl than don a giant bunny suit and take her to a goth club? Only one, but it involves vacuum tubes and pulleys, and is a little risqué for this post. So, yeah, I’m 32, on the way to the goth club with my love, my brother, and my good friend, Jimmy, wearing a giant pink bunny suit.

We got to The Castle, this ultra-hardcore goth club, but everyone, especially the stuff, is always totally kind and welcoming. They don’t ask me to leave because of the potential liability caused by me being on a vent in a flat wheel-chair (a lamer bar once threw me out), they make sure I’m comfortable and having fun. Downstairs is kind of mellow, a bar, outdoor dance-floor, but upstairs, upstairs is MAGICAL. Upstairs has crazy swirling lights, fog machines, bizarre art house images projected onto giant screens, fluid goth dancing, go-go girls.

Upstairs has THIS!

The Senator

Brian (my brother). Jimmy, and me…

To get to all of that, however, I have to get carried, vent, chair, et all, up two flights of precarious stairs, and as we know, I was feeling uneasy. I thought about staying downstairs, having a low-key night. My girlfriend was intrigued by the upstairs, but was nervous about me accidentally dying in getting there. So, we went. I wanted to kiss her under the lights, in the fog. I wanted to show her that we can do anything we want, if we want it. I wanted to show her that I’d go anywhere, do anything, for her.

Midnight ticked by, my 2012 ended with a passionate kiss with a woman I love beyond words.

It was a good birthday.

I’m vowing, right now, for real, to post SOMETHING every-day in 2013.

Today was very annoyingly busy, tomorrow I want to post about my birthday…

Happy New Year!

The Senator

If I had to see this last night, so must you…

Explanation to follow…

So, I turn thirty-two tomorrow, and 2012 ends tomorrow.

I can’t say I’m going to miss 2012, it was kind of shitty. Still, I’m with someone I really love, who loves me, and I had to go through the Suckfest of 2012 to be here right now, happy, with her, so I’m not complaining. I just want to stay with her, and have crazy adventures, and write well, that’s all I’m asking of 2013.

The folks at WordPress sent me a report of how the blog held up over the last year, it was not glowing. It really showed me that I need to wake up and be better. People quit reading, but people have stuck around too, I definitely want to thank those in the latter category. Thank you for not giving up on the hope that my writing will get less awful! Seriously, thank you for sticking around. I promise, this place will be compelling again. If you left, you’re obviously not reading this, but still, I’m going to make this place worth coming back to, a promise I’m making into the void.

I don’t want to disappear.

For those who lean toward Flickr, I’ve finally collected my tattoos thus far there too…

For those of you inclined toward Facebook, I’ve finally posted my current sixty-seven tattoos…

Today, very little happened. I woke up, that was the most interesting part of today.