My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Sep 4

About Cupid

Category: Life

So, I wrote a very short piece of fiction. The idea just kind of came to me all at once driving to the movies. In the van I can’t talk to anyone, or use a computer, but I’m not nervous either. My assistant checks in on me regularly enough to where I can really think without distraction. I still wander into worry, but not about my imminent demise. I try to think about writing. I actually do most of my writing in my head, then it’s just a matter of physically typing things. So, I got the idea for Cupid and decided it was worth typing.

It’s the first piece of fiction I’ve written in two years and it’s the first that I don’t find embarrassing. I’m not yet a solid “story-teller,” I’m weak on visual description, but I’m not afraid to say that I’m really comfortable with my voice and use of craft. I may be a weak “story-teller,” but I have definite skill as a “writer.” I’ve lived a lot in the last few years and I think it shows in my writing. The story-telling will improve if I keep going.

I’m at a very odd time in my life, there’s fear, uncertainty, regret, desire, hope. It’s all potential fuel for amazing writing if it doesn’t break me first. I don’t particularly worry about any kind of massive and permanent psychological breakdown, but one never knows about the rest.


4 Comments so far

  1. christine September 4th, 2008 11:21 pm

    hey there–i came across your blog and i’ve read it back to the LJ over the past 2 days. you are a beautiful writer. because of experiences i’ve had, death is also very real to me, and i like how you describe the strange place we’re in, balanced between living and dying. one thing that’s interesting to me about your writing is that i’m not afraid to die. it’s strange to those that love me that i have no instinct for “man vs. nature” struggle. it’s one of the reasons i had to move from massachusetts to tampa last year–one more winter, and i would have curled up in a snow bank and fallen asleep forever. it’s interesting to me to read about your experiences and will to survive.

    i’m writing you now to tell you how much i’ve gotten out of what you’ve written here. i’m in a strange place right now, faced with a lot of change, fear/regret/uncertainty/desire/hope, just as you said. it’s comforting to me to know that someone else feels this way too–not a simple “i feel X” but more a complicated soup of emotions and it’s difficult to tell where one ends and the other begins. tonight i was so angry, just so Angry. there’s too much at once. and then i try to take one emotion at a time, and isolate it, and just feel it. doesn’t really make me feel any better, but it’s a different experience than the jumble.

    i understand how long it takes you to type, and it makes me appreciate the story “cupid” more. i want to email your story to my true love, who is far away from me, but i probably won’t. the ensuing conversation would be full of pain and distance and i don’t think i have it in me. your story is That effective.

    maybe i’ll see you around town.

  2. michael September 5th, 2008 2:45 am

    It’s interesting, we seem like opposite sides of the same coin in some ways. I desperately want to be in Massachusetts, I’d gladly die in that cold if I had to. Yet, I really am afraid of dying, I don’t want it to happen. That fear drives me, and hurts me all at once.

  3. Loribelle September 5th, 2008 10:59 am

    You really are a wonderful writer.

  4. redandjonny September 6th, 2008 12:15 pm

    Your blog is my favorite book…you’re a fantastic writer mike.