My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Mar 3

Reader questions: Attempt #1

Category: Life

So, I’m not answering these reader questions in order received. It’s more like, the order of… most fun.

One of my original readers, Ormolu, posed a fun set of questions. I’m really happy you’re still around, Ormolu, it means a lot to me that you’ve stuck it out.

Anyway, she wrote:

“Hi Michael,
I haven’t been maintaining my blog or I’d leave the address here. Maybe I’ll start a new one. You’ve probably addressed questions on your belief in fate and the afterlife and soulmates, but I’ll ask anyway because I’m a curious cat.
Do you believe in soulmates that transcend this lifetime? I suppose that would also require a belief in an afterlife and reincarnation. Do you feel there are people that we are meant to meet? Have you ever met someone and felt literally like you had been waiting your lifetime to meet this person? And if so, what happens when they leave?
I’ve never been one for small talk. May as well ask the probing questions. I’ve been told I ask probing questions. I’m not sure if was a compliment.
Do take care.”

I don’t know how I feel about where we go after we quit breathing. Sometimes I’m scared I won’t go anywhere, I’ll just go out like a light. I’m really scared of not being me anymore, whether there’s somewhere else or not. For some reason, I’m really afraid of that, forgetting everything, everyone. Though, I guess if I just blink out, or quit being me, I won’t know the difference anyway. The Catholic in me worries about Hell. If Hell does exist, I definitely worry that I’m guaranteed residency. Still, I’ll probably know a few people there, people I’d be absolutely glad to join. These are my jumbled musings on afterlife. I’m really not certain about any part of anything, except that my story here will end, and that it isn’t guaranteed to end the way I want. I’m truly scared that it won’t.

As for relationships that transcend lifetimes, again, I don’t know. I focus on relationships here, now, as they’re completely tangible. I definitely think there are people we’re meant to know, you feel that instant connection. I think friendships are the easiest to come by, we’re meant to have many, some for always, some that drift away, but are important just the same.

I totally think that if you’re open to it, there’s one person out in the world that you’re meant to know, in mind, body, soul, everything. Call it love at first sight, your soulmate, whatever. They’re like, the match to the puzzle piece that is you. That sort of connection is real, and immediate, and it’s the most powerful thing you’ll ever experience. You don’t get endless chances to find this connection, the chances are painfully finite.

I met my puzzle piece, and I lost her, and it fucking hurts. I don’t know what happens next.


2 Comments so far

  1. Ormolu March 4th, 2016 12:11 pm

    That was a good answer full of honesty and openness. I share a lot of your same fears.
    I’m still here, thank you for your kind words. I’ll try to speak up more often.

  2. Dom March 4th, 2016 2:14 pm

    Hi Mike, I’m new to your blog . Thanks for sharing your honesty about what you think. I’m quite certain, as certain as one can be, that there really is no hell. Hell is something that was man made to controlus. God is not judging. God is loving and forgiving! So please don’t waste any of your time worrying about it anymore.