My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

We made the paper…

Where's Michael?

I’m kind of on a quest to be more social. I mean, I’m friendly, outgoing, not socially awkward, but I want to be able to go somewhere without my computer and be able to meet new people. Sometimes, I need a break from typing. It’s been just about two years without old-school talking, yet I still feel awkward sometimes talking to people with the alphabet, especially trying to meet new people. I want to change that, I want to feel less lonely in a crowd.

So, just for kicks, I dragged my friend, Sarah, and my assistant, Sarah, to a TweetUp at Tampa’s MOSI (museum of science and industry). A TweetUp is a gathering of Twitter users who often belong to a specific group. Last night’s get-together was for members of tampabloggers.com. I’d never been to a TweetUp before, and neither Sarah had ever used Twitter, so none of us had any idea what to expect from the evening. It was definitely an interesting experience.

There was a room full of people, all rather friendly, all seemingly familiar with one another from previous TweetUps. My little trio were definitely the “outsiders,” not quite so hardcore into the “Twitter lifestyle.” I mean, technology’s obviously really important to me. Back in the day I was quite into technology conferences and what-not, and I did enjoy much of it, yet deep down it never felt like “me.” I think I got so into tech culture because it was easy, it made sense to everybody. Yet, the me that I am today feels right and honest. I love my black nail-polish, my piercings, my fourteen tattoos, my dark books and music, the way I write. I’m home at goth clubs, dive bars, coffee shops, talking with other writers. I know technology so well because I require it, not necessarily because I love it. These things really kind of hit me last night, I saw how much I used to pretend to be someone else.

Still, I did like the people, I do want to go again. It’s good sometimes to be “out of your element.” I had a couple of short, but decent spontaneous conversations. I need to get better at introducing myself to people, rather than always waiting for people to come to me. Not being able to “talk” is still difficult for me in group situations. MOSI has a huge domed IMAX theater, at the top is an outdoor terrace, we hiked our way in the cold to gaze upon the majesty that is Tampa. I didn’t really care for the cityscape, but the sky was absolutely clear and gorgeous.

Now, pictures…

Me and Sarah, TweetingUp.

Sparkle Hat Guy.

Whole expanse.

Oh, and for those new to the blog, I type it all by myself, really.

T-e-d-i-o-u-s i-s t-h-e d-i-s-t-i-l-l-a-t-i-o-n o-f t-h-o-u-g-h-t-s i-n-t-o w-o-r-d-s.

So, I’m out at dinner with a lady-friend and my assistant, Sarah. It’s a lovely evening, I’m enjoying an excellent bisque, talking to a beautiful and witty woman. While I’m alphabeting something to my friend, I notice out the corner of my eye that this chick is whispering to Sarah. Apparently, she’s an “energy healer,” and has “worked with MD kids before.” Technically, I’m not a kid and I don’t have muscular dystrophy, but that’s just semantics. Anyway, she says, “he’s beautiful.” She says, “he has great energy.” She introduces herself and goes back to her table.

As we’re leaving she asks to say good-bye. She puts a hand on my legs, one on my head. I move my eyebrows in a “okay, bye, well-meaning and bizarre lady” kind of way. She says, “oh, he likes that.” She says, “he’s really feeling it.” After that, we part ways.

Now, I’m pretty sure I was completely healed for about an hour, but then it wore off.

If you don’t watch Battlestar Galactica, this probably won’t be amusing…

Well, yesterday was the last day of the After Dark Horrorfest, and I ended up seeing two movies, The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations and Dying Breed. The two totaled 3 hours of fairly unfortunate cinema…

The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations tells the story of a fellow who is somehow able to “jump” back in time. He lays in a bathtub of ice-water, goes into a little trance, and he’s a time traveler. As long as he doesn’t try to change anything, as long as he simply observes the past, he wakes up safe and sound in his present. However, when he goes back in time to solve his girlfriend’s murder at about the time of its occurrence in her bedroom, he accidentally runs into her sister. Rather than let sister discover the body like she’s supposed to, he tells her to wait in the car while he investigates the house. It’s a very small change, but it’s apparently enough to start a chain of seven murders over ten years.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t really see The Butterfly Effect, let alone The Butterfly Effect 2, but I seriously doubt that seeing them could have saved The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations. I could jump back in time to find out, to watch the previous two first, but then my entire family would probably end up murdered.

Dying Breed tells the story of four Aussies who venture out into the Tasmanian wilderness in the hopes of photographing the said to be extinct Tasmanian tiger. Now, I don’t care to write any more.

Dying Breed is just stupid gore porn. The four are terrorized and murdered by in-bred sadistic cannibals that time forgot. Oh, wait, they keep one woman alive to rape every so often, whenever they need a baby to boost their population. Really, I don’t mind a bunch of killing, but rape totally bothers me.

So, that’s it, six of eight horror movies in three days. My bizarre adventure is over.

So, in my bizarre pursuit to see as much of this year’s After Dark Horrorfest as I possibly can, I ended up going to the 10:35 PM showing of Perkins’ 14. The title gave me absolutely no clue as to what I’d be seeing.

Perkins’ 14 tells the story of Ronald Perkins and his life’s work in the quiet little town of Lake Cove. Ronald had a rough childhood. At the age of 6, Ronald’s parents are killed while he’s in the house. Mom stabbed 14 times, dad shot in the face. Police rule it a murder/suicide, the case is closed. Ronald never buys this theory, he feels let-down and abandoned by the town. So, when he grows up, Ronald decides to kidnap 14 children and lock them in his basement. He tortures them, de-humanizes them, pumps them full of PCP and various other drugs. Ronald creates his own little army of mindless, heartless, really angry zombies. On the night of the ten year anniversary of the fourteenth kidnapping, Ronald’s kids get to go home again. It’s not a happy homecoming.

I admit it, I’m a sucker for zombie movies, so I really did love Perkins’ 14. It’s actually very well-shot, with just enough shaky-camera to give everything a very frenetic feeling. Visually, the film is quite reminiscent of 28 Days Later. I even found myself a little scared at times, as the killing doesn’t always happen when it’s expected. Perkins’ 14 definitely made my evening.

Next, Dying Breed.

Continuing my foray into the After Dark Horrorfest, today I saw Voices. Again, I had no idea what to expect from my trip to the theater. I didn’t know Voices was Japanese, nor did I know it was subtitled…

Voices tells the story of a girl, and a curse, and a bunch of people getting stabbed, and revenge, and different people trying to kill the previously mentioned girl just about every-day for no reasonably apparent reason, and some kind of demon or something, and, and, and…

Voices is such a convoluted disaster, the thought of trying to explain it makes me want to quit writing entirely. So, I won’t.

Tomorrow, Dying Breed.

So, I spent a grey and rainy Tuesday in a movie theater watching two horror movies, Autopsy and Slaughter. They’re part of a series of short films in this year’s After Dark Horrorfest. I went in not knowing anything about either film, I wanted to go in fresh…

Autopsy is the touching love story of a doctor desperately trying to save his wife from terminal cancer. So, the doctor sets up shop in an abandoned Louisiana hospital, hires a pair of ex-cons for orderlies and nurse Ratched’s mom, and takes to kidnapping people to harvest their fluids and vital organs. Perhaps, this isn’t the best possible idea, but the doctor so wants his beloved to see Italy again.

Autopsy is the sort of movie that’s so astonishingly bad it ends up being great. It’s just non-stop over-the-top violence and creepy atmosphere. It’s the kind of movie where a writer says to himself, “Oh my Christ, you know what would be awesome? It’d be awesome if a chick hacked of another chick’s arm and said, bleed out, bitch!” It doesn’t try to be anything but ridiculous.

Slaughter is the story of a young woman who moves to Atlanta to escape her abusive and obsessed ex-boyfriend. She befriends a local young lady and ends up rooming with said young lady at her family’s farm, a farm with a slaughterhouse. Local gal is rather promiscuous, a fact her creepy dad doesn’t like one bit. Her suitors always seem to vanish the next day.

Supposedly, Slaughter is “inspired by actual events,” and it really tries to tell a story. Unfortunately, the story it tries to tell is really boring and very predictable. By the time anything remotely interesting started to happen, I just wanted it to be over. I wanted it to fade to black with the simple closing text, “And they all died in a fire. The end.” Sadly, it didn’t, it just kept going.

Today, I’m going back to see Voices.

2009 hasn’t been around long, but it’s given us a beautifully poetic film line…

“Bleed out, bitch!” – Autopsy