My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Jan 17

Energy healing

Category: Life

So, I’m out at dinner with a lady-friend and my assistant, Sarah. It’s a lovely evening, I’m enjoying an excellent bisque, talking to a beautiful and witty woman. While I’m alphabeting something to my friend, I notice out the corner of my eye that this chick is whispering to Sarah. Apparently, she’s an “energy healer,” and has “worked with MD kids before.” Technically, I’m not a kid and I don’t have muscular dystrophy, but that’s just semantics. Anyway, she says, “he’s beautiful.” She says, “he has great energy.” She introduces herself and goes back to her table.

As we’re leaving she asks to say good-bye. She puts a hand on my legs, one on my head. I move my eyebrows in a “okay, bye, well-meaning and bizarre lady” kind of way. She says, “oh, he likes that.” She says, “he’s really feeling it.” After that, we part ways.

Now, I’m pretty sure I was completely healed for about an hour, but then it wore off.


9 Comments so far

  1. Ali January 17th, 2009 5:32 am

    oh holy fuck, you run into some real saints, eh?
    I know their heart may be in the “right place” but i fucking CANT STAND IT when people do not talk directly to Nathan [husband, has the sma] and I’m usually kinda rude about it [oops]. I like how she probably thought that you couldn’t physically feel her touch… so many people have reached out and just touched Nathan “can you feel this!?” uhh yeah now stop.
    she sounds interesting! Hope your dinner was enjoyable and I’m sorry to hear the healing wore off, you should have tried to bottle it… urine maybe?

  2. michael January 17th, 2009 5:44 am

    Ali, really, I don’t typically mind the healers, or the people who think I’m fake. They often bother people who are with me, which I don’t like, but from my perspective they’re great for writing.

  3. Will January 17th, 2009 1:05 pm

    Please hook up a speaker under your rig with a switch and a recording of the most god aweful noise every recorded. Have it play when they reach over or speak, but only then. Lotta miles you could get out of that one….

  4. Jenny January 17th, 2009 5:46 pm

    This is an awesome story. Man, I miss hanging out with you.

  5. Karen (the first one) January 18th, 2009 10:01 am

    Hey, as long as you get good material out of it, that’s what matters in the end.

    I’m kind of terrified that I may know this person, though maybe that’s just the energy healer “type”.

  6. Jessica McLeod January 19th, 2009 12:07 am

    She talked to your assistant like she was talking about a dog to its owner. How sensitive she must be.

  7. Jeff January 19th, 2009 2:54 am

    Each possibility is equally disturbing: her *thinking* she can “heal” (though her ESP is obviously broken), or consciously *faking* such scurrilous offerings. Ugh.

    “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.” — Carl Sagan

  8. Ali January 19th, 2009 3:01 am

    Ah, Michael. I like the way you think.

  9. Alexis January 25th, 2009 6:19 pm

    I love the way you don’t get pissed at these people…
    that takes a lot more generosity than I think I could muster.