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Archive for February 25th, 2009

Fuck the disability community

February 25th, 2009 | Category: Life

So, there’s talk of a social program in Zurich to help disabled people get laid, and apparently, I’m mentioned in a discussion about it. Things like this are totally disturbing, and totally frustrating. Honestly, I absolutely cannot stand the “disability community.” In my experience, it’s such a ridiculously fucked up group of people, they accept the wrong things and don’t fight for the right ones. They totally accept stupid conventions like, “disabled people can’t date and have sex because they’re disabled.” Society says it, disabled people accept it, and that’s that. The bar is set low, and disabled people take it. They accept programs that provide a mercy fuck, and don’t understand that we should want and fight for equal footing with society as a whole, equal being the operative word. We’re all really just one community, we’re all people.

I hate disability message boards, especially ones about dating and sex. People say, “oh, I’m disabled, no one will go out with me.” People say, “I’m hideous and I’ll never have sex.” I hate reading these things. I say, you’re not dating because you don’t have proper access to the world. I say, you’re not having sex because your attitude is garbage, have a little confidence. Learned helplessness and low self-esteem are not attractive on anyone.

People with disabilities need access to assistive technology, to personal assistants, to careers, to independence. Given these things, a person with disabilities has the chance to get out and lead a decent life, as much as anyone. If a person has these chances and still wants to hire a prostitute, fine. At least they’re no different than any senator or CEO.

I’m funded for assistive technology and personal assistants, and I gladly take that funding. It lets me contribute to society, I get and I give back. I go out with friends to clubs, bars, restaurants, wherever. I meet new people, I go on dates. A few months after I hired my first assistant, I met an amazing woman and we fell in love. We were together a long time, we had crazy passionate sex. We’re not together now, but at least we had something real. Even if I never find that again, it won’t be for lack of chances, or lack of trying.

I mean, I’m different in that I access the world very differently, but I want the same things as anyone else. I accept that I need help just to leave the house, but given that help I know that I can succeed or fail on my own. I want basic opportunities to live a good life, but I sure as shit don’t want a guaranteed government sponsored fuck.