My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Dec 20

Drowned kittens

Category: Creative Flash

And so he drowned a basket of kittens in a small lake at the heart of a peaceful wood. He explained to the unfortunate kittens why they had to drown and much to his surprise, the kittens understood.

They were, you see, very practical kittens, highly principled and empathetic toward the principles of others. So, while they weren’t particularly happy to be dying, especially in this particular manner, they understood the reason behind its happening, and solemnly accepted it.

They believed in Kitty Jesus and His Kitty Heaven, and so requested that they be allowed a simple kitty prayer. They were, of course, not denied this request before their end. They prayed:

Oh Kitty Jesus, we ask that You accept us into Kitty Heaven. Being that You’ve decided to fuck us over like this, us being adorable tabby kittens, innocent and free of sin, we figure it’s the least You could do.


Thus ended their simple kitty prayer, and shortly thereafter, their kitty lives.

Having drowned the kittens he returned home, humbled and warmed from the experience.


6 Comments so far

  1. Jenn Malatesta December 20th, 2008 1:55 pm

    I am strangely humbled and warmed as well.

  2. Rachel December 20th, 2008 5:49 pm

    Hah, that is so dark and twisted. I love it.

  3. Will December 20th, 2008 6:18 pm

    there’s 4 peeps ova and I just read that aloud with Much syncopation and empahsis and evra’Body fucking LOVED IT

    They Want MORE MORE MORE

  4. Will December 20th, 2008 6:20 pm

    Best part? they had No Idea the Context….

    Ummm Scumptious. Delicious. Perfect. Fucking Brilliant.

  5. Tierra December 21st, 2008 8:46 am

    Not trying to co-sign anyone else’s thoughts, but I love it.

  6. Ormolu December 22nd, 2008 12:01 pm

    I’m disturbed.

    I suppose I’m the only one who didn’t love it. C’est la vie.