My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Jul 4

It’s the 4th

Category: Life,Random Thought

So, today’s the Fourth of July, another June has gone by.  When they light up our town I just think what a waste of gunpowder and sky…

That is the beginning of the saddest, most grammatically correct song ever written about the Fourth of July. It’s one of my favorite Aimee Mann songs. Last year, Sara and I were broken up for the Fourth. We broke up before the holiday, but that song was actually playing when she said her good-byes. Things are much better this year. We’re separated again, but only by physical distance. It’s weird, I’m not sure how to word this right, maybe I can’t. Being apart like this is a painful experience, I miss her on some level all the time, but it’s not an empty pain. It’s a pain that promises something better. It’s almost like getting a tattoo. It’s a constant stinging pain, but when it finally stops, you’re left with something beautiful. It’s a pain that’s a prelude to something that you know is worth anything. It’s not a loss, not an emptiness. It’s not Hell unending, the complete and total absence of God.

Life’s really not easy, but I think it’s always worth the trouble in the end. Happy Fourth…


3 Comments so far

  1. Ormolu July 5th, 2008 5:41 am

    That last sentence made me smile. I always appreciate your wry optimism. Happy Fourth to you as well.

  2. alee July 7th, 2008 8:44 pm

    I’ve read some of your posts…you are a very talented writer.

  3. Angie July 8th, 2008 4:32 pm

    Hey Mike,

    I, too, am in a long distance relationship. Only in my particular situation, my spouse cannot come to Canada to live with me without a grueling 2 year immigration process (that can still end in rejection by an officer who is not convinced that my relationship is “real”). I understand the emptiness. The person is there, but not. You’re alone, but the love is there. I’m sure you know this feeling well. Added you on facebook, love to chat sometime.