My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Jan 1

28 in the New Year

Category: Life

So, I turned 28 last night, and I’ll be honest, I haven’t been at all happy. I planned to spend last night in a bad way, thinking about the year before, thinking about the potential joys of slitting my wrists, vertically, of course. However, a friend, a really delightful friend, insisted that we go dancing, so I obliged.  I figured doing the exact opposite of what I felt like doing was probably best.

So, we rang in the New Year at Czar, a fairly tame quasi-emo/goth club, but at around 1:30 AM we went to this ultra emo/goth club, The Castle.  I had to get carried up two steep flights of stairs to get to the dance lounge, but oh my Christ was it worth it.  When I die, wherever I end up, I want it to be like The Castle.  The place is every beautiful emo/goth cliche.  Between the smoke machines and the cigarette smoke, every individual beam of light was visible in the air.  Music so loud you could feel it in your chest.

Tampa has its share of “club characters,” one of whom is a fellow who likes to dress-up as Peter Pan, or Blue Boy. Last night, I finally met him, we danced to Dragula. After Pan, this totally drunk chick (who couldn’t dance) kept dancing with me, which completely pissed off her boyfriend.  He kept saying I wasn’t real.  He was especially unhappy when she lifted her skirt for me, which I also found a little untoward.  It’s interesting how something like that can either be spectacular, or spectacularly creepy, depending on the woman.

The evening kind of reminded me that I’m still me, I can still do all the crazy things I absolutely love doing. It’s really hard to remember that sometimes, but last night helped.


9 Comments so far

  1. arsenalgear January 1st, 2009 5:45 pm

    Happy belated birthday dude. Congratulations on not joining the 27 Club.

    Wow, for some odd reason I was thinking about the Real Life Peter Pan guy today. Several years ago my sister showed me his website and it has haunted my psyche ever since. Now, I find out that you have fraternized with him. First David Letterman, then Steve Jobs, then Ira Glass, and now Peter Pan. **sigh** You are always rubbing elbows with celebrities…

    Starfucker. 😉

    But seriously, I am glad you had a great day, and I hope 2009 is a healthy, happy, and successful year for you. 🙂

  2. Will January 1st, 2009 6:43 pm


  3. mama January 2nd, 2009 1:56 am


  4. Steph January 2nd, 2009 9:16 am

    Happy Birthday.

  5. mama January 3rd, 2009 2:42 am

    Looks like you really lived it up last night and that you are TAKING back your life…keep it up Mike…You are a strong, creative, intelligent person. Please don’t let anyone have the power to yank your chain and try to make you believe otherwise about yourself…hold on to your inner self and remember the power and choice is all yours!!!!!!!

  6. Mike H. January 4th, 2009 4:12 pm

    You “weren’t real”?

  7. michael January 4th, 2009 4:57 pm

    Mike, yeah, people often mistake me for some kind of dummy. Especially drunk people.

  8. Will January 4th, 2009 11:47 pm

    I revel in making drunk people think I’m not real….

  9. Jenn Malatesta January 5th, 2009 8:55 pm

    Darn it, now I wanna go dancing!