My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Jan 20


Category: Life

Back in December, when I was “exhausted,” I had a talk with a psychologist. I was explaining why I felt like killing myself and what-not, typing it all out at a rather decent rate. During this chat she said to me, “you know, you should use abbreviations, it’d be much faster. Try things like grl frnd, or how r u?” I felt so astonishingly frustrated and out of place.  

Obviously, I’ve thought about shortcuts. Obviously, they’ve been suggested before. I just can’t make myself use them. Words and language are really important to me. The way I express myself best is in words. My voice might be gone, but I still have written language. I never “spoke” incorrectly, so now that the alphabet is all I have, I can’t make myself use it incorrectly. It might be easier, faster, but I can’t lose such an important part of myself. 

I really do worry that I’m tedious to people, everyday, almost every conversation. I just hope people understand, understand that I can’t give up another thing that I love, words.


12 Comments so far

  1. MagnoliaFly January 20th, 2009 1:15 pm

    It makes sense though. Not only is it part of you but I’m sure you find it easier to communicate as clearly as you can this way.

    We’ve been talking about how inferences can be lost when AAC devices are used in my language development class. I still think you translate humor and sarcasm over quite well. The signature eyeroll says a lot!

    I think that was rude what the psychologist said. Did it come off like, “I’m in a hurry, can you use shortcuts to get this session over?”

  2. Evie January 20th, 2009 1:26 pm

    YAY!!! 🙂 and along comes Evie and Twitter (-:

    But I do feel you … I love reading your words.

    Thank you, Evie

  3. S@r@h January 20th, 2009 3:04 pm

    I obviously can’t speak for other people, but I do not mind the alphabet at all. In fact, I like that you are so unique. I will admit it did take just a little to become used to it, but now I am completely comfortable with it. It also enables me to call you out when you say you did not stop drinking Cape Cods for like a minute as I have a written log of what you say. 🙂
    By the way, my cat was staring at me earlier and then blinked just his left eye, which instantly sent me into “spelling mode” and I had the urge to ask “A through N?” 🙂

  4. Philip Dhingra January 20th, 2009 6:09 pm


  5. jadelennox January 20th, 2009 7:58 pm

    I understand that as rage/sadness-inducing, Mike. I completely understand.

  6. Jennifer January 20th, 2009 9:26 pm

    I feel like if you used shortcuts, it would just make you sound permanently like a 13 yr old gurl txting her bff! And who wants that. Clarity is better.

  7. Steph January 20th, 2009 10:24 pm

    This psychologist is in my expert opinion a complete bitch.

    Our whole society is so multi tasking super fast that we are becoming fat lazy stressed out over medicated zombies.

    When you lost your voice you could have been silenced. Instead there is this amazing alphabet means of communicating. So what if it means that we have to slow down, sit together, really listen? Isn’t that supposed to be the essence of human connection?

    You shouldn’t have to compromise good spelling/syntax/grammar just to cowtow to the current hype that condensed and fast and multitask must be best. You are a writer. You love language and words. You shouldn’t have to give that up. No way. Fuck that.

  8. trevor January 20th, 2009 11:14 pm

    what do you think about the words Obama used in his speech? any thoughts?

  9. kitty January 20th, 2009 11:39 pm

    Your writing is elegant. I deeply appreciate that you honor the reader by doing it right.

    Unrelated, but have you seen –
    Have you seen this emoticon fairy tale?

  10. gayle January 21st, 2009 2:24 pm

    I admire your dedication to the beauty and power (and wholeness) of language.

  11. michael January 22nd, 2009 2:47 am

    I think the psychologist was just… dense.

    trevor, yeah, great.

    All, I actually feel less tedious, so, thanks.

  12. Elly March 31st, 2009 11:16 pm

    For serious? She said that? *pulls face* Go you for not indulging her. I think typing like that is tacky and horrible and it actually isn’t that pleasant to read. If you’re as fast as you say you are then why would want to compromise the integrity of you what you type?

    Right on, I say 🙂