My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

Whenever I’m a little down, playing this song really loud always seems to make things a bit better. It’s so upbeat and positive, with a great sound. Oh, and I’m pretty sure it’s about a serial-killer.

I’ve written about Atheism, liking the idea of Atheism, but I’m not an Atheist. I tend to believe in God, but not a happy God. I believe in Tori Amos’ God, a God Who doesn’t come through. I believe in Tyler Durden’s God, a God Who doesn’t want me, doesn’t like me, probably hates me. I believe in Elliott Smith’s God, a God Who makes problems just to see what I can stand before I do as the Devil pleases.

I tend to think that we’re God’s tv show. He probably doesn’t help us, He doesn’t hurt us, but I think He gives, or allows us obstacles to see how we’ll react, things to make the show more interesting. Mostly, He just watches as we find pleasure, or suffer. I don’t think God is actively out to fuck anybody over, but I definitely don’t count on Him to do me any favors. 

Ultimately, all we can do is solve our own problems, and help each other out. God would just as soon watch you struggle and die than do anything about it.

So, I missed a post, broke the streak. I’m not particularly upset about it, as I did come very close to my goal. I missed it because I ended up getting back late from a movie and dinner with my friend, Sarah, and my assistant, Sarah. Dinner at Cafe Bohemia was excellent. The movie, however, was the polar-opposite of excellent.

My Bloody Valentine 3D is one of the absolute worst pieces of garbage I’ve seen in awhile. It’s basically gore porn with a really boring story, I guessed the film’s brilliant “twist” quite early. We’ve seen it before, in better movies. Yes, it’s in 3D, but even a pair of Cobain-esque 3D glasses cannot fix a tedious and worthless story.

Well, yesterday was the last day of the After Dark Horrorfest, and I ended up seeing two movies, The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations and Dying Breed. The two totaled 3 hours of fairly unfortunate cinema…

The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations tells the story of a fellow who is somehow able to “jump” back in time. He lays in a bathtub of ice-water, goes into a little trance, and he’s a time traveler. As long as he doesn’t try to change anything, as long as he simply observes the past, he wakes up safe and sound in his present. However, when he goes back in time to solve his girlfriend’s murder at about the time of its occurrence in her bedroom, he accidentally runs into her sister. Rather than let sister discover the body like she’s supposed to, he tells her to wait in the car while he investigates the house. It’s a very small change, but it’s apparently enough to start a chain of seven murders over ten years.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t really see The Butterfly Effect, let alone The Butterfly Effect 2, but I seriously doubt that seeing them could have saved The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations. I could jump back in time to find out, to watch the previous two first, but then my entire family would probably end up murdered.

Dying Breed tells the story of four Aussies who venture out into the Tasmanian wilderness in the hopes of photographing the said to be extinct Tasmanian tiger. Now, I don’t care to write any more.

Dying Breed is just stupid gore porn. The four are terrorized and murdered by in-bred sadistic cannibals that time forgot. Oh, wait, they keep one woman alive to rape every so often, whenever they need a baby to boost their population. Really, I don’t mind a bunch of killing, but rape totally bothers me.

So, that’s it, six of eight horror movies in three days. My bizarre adventure is over.

So, in my bizarre pursuit to see as much of this year’s After Dark Horrorfest as I possibly can, I ended up going to the 10:35 PM showing of Perkins’ 14. The title gave me absolutely no clue as to what I’d be seeing.

Perkins’ 14 tells the story of Ronald Perkins and his life’s work in the quiet little town of Lake Cove. Ronald had a rough childhood. At the age of 6, Ronald’s parents are killed while he’s in the house. Mom stabbed 14 times, dad shot in the face. Police rule it a murder/suicide, the case is closed. Ronald never buys this theory, he feels let-down and abandoned by the town. So, when he grows up, Ronald decides to kidnap 14 children and lock them in his basement. He tortures them, de-humanizes them, pumps them full of PCP and various other drugs. Ronald creates his own little army of mindless, heartless, really angry zombies. On the night of the ten year anniversary of the fourteenth kidnapping, Ronald’s kids get to go home again. It’s not a happy homecoming.

I admit it, I’m a sucker for zombie movies, so I really did love Perkins’ 14. It’s actually very well-shot, with just enough shaky-camera to give everything a very frenetic feeling. Visually, the film is quite reminiscent of 28 Days Later. I even found myself a little scared at times, as the killing doesn’t always happen when it’s expected. Perkins’ 14 definitely made my evening.

Next, Dying Breed.

Continuing my foray into the After Dark Horrorfest, today I saw Voices. Again, I had no idea what to expect from my trip to the theater. I didn’t know Voices was Japanese, nor did I know it was subtitled…

Voices tells the story of a girl, and a curse, and a bunch of people getting stabbed, and revenge, and different people trying to kill the previously mentioned girl just about every-day for no reasonably apparent reason, and some kind of demon or something, and, and, and…

Voices is such a convoluted disaster, the thought of trying to explain it makes me want to quit writing entirely. So, I won’t.

Tomorrow, Dying Breed.

So, I spent a grey and rainy Tuesday in a movie theater watching two horror movies, Autopsy and Slaughter. They’re part of a series of short films in this year’s After Dark Horrorfest. I went in not knowing anything about either film, I wanted to go in fresh…

Autopsy is the touching love story of a doctor desperately trying to save his wife from terminal cancer. So, the doctor sets up shop in an abandoned Louisiana hospital, hires a pair of ex-cons for orderlies and nurse Ratched’s mom, and takes to kidnapping people to harvest their fluids and vital organs. Perhaps, this isn’t the best possible idea, but the doctor so wants his beloved to see Italy again.

Autopsy is the sort of movie that’s so astonishingly bad it ends up being great. It’s just non-stop over-the-top violence and creepy atmosphere. It’s the kind of movie where a writer says to himself, “Oh my Christ, you know what would be awesome? It’d be awesome if a chick hacked of another chick’s arm and said, bleed out, bitch!” It doesn’t try to be anything but ridiculous.

Slaughter is the story of a young woman who moves to Atlanta to escape her abusive and obsessed ex-boyfriend. She befriends a local young lady and ends up rooming with said young lady at her family’s farm, a farm with a slaughterhouse. Local gal is rather promiscuous, a fact her creepy dad doesn’t like one bit. Her suitors always seem to vanish the next day.

Supposedly, Slaughter is “inspired by actual events,” and it really tries to tell a story. Unfortunately, the story it tries to tell is really boring and very predictable. By the time anything remotely interesting started to happen, I just wanted it to be over. I wanted it to fade to black with the simple closing text, “And they all died in a fire. The end.” Sadly, it didn’t, it just kept going.

Today, I’m going back to see Voices.

There are very few truly great vampire movies, but Let The Right One In makes the list of greats a little longer. A Swedish film, Let The Right One In, is subtitled and set during a frozen Swedish winter. It’s the story of Oskar, a constantly bullied and isolated twelve year-old boy, and Eli, a quiet and serious girl of “about twelve” who moves in next-door. Eli, of course, is not the typical girl next-door. She only comes out after dark, she’s completely unaffected by the bitter cold and while she’s twelve years old, it’s only in appearance. Eli has been twelve for as long as she can remember, she’s a vampire. The two form a relationship, a love of sorts, but it’s something other than beautiful.

To call Let The Right One In a love story between two lost and lonely souls is, to me, quite inaccurate. It’s a love story, but the story is harsh and dysfunctional, cold as winter. Oskar finds strength, companionship, and even comfort in Eli, but at a price, a price he’s far too young to fully understand.

Love isn’t always beautiful, sometimes it’s sad and broken. Sometimes we love what hurts us. That’s the essence of Let The Right One In.

So, aside from knowing that it was directed by Danny Boyle, and that he’s a genius, I had absolutely no idea what to expect from Slumdog Millionaire. I had no idea it was set in India, no idea that it involved the Hindi version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, I had no idea about anything. I’m glad I didn’t know anything about the film, or else I wouldn’t have been so spectacularly surprised. It’s such a beautifully compelling love story, and so much more. It’s definitely a must see.

I’m going to write something more full after I see it again. I wasn’t watching it in the right frame of mind to write a proper review. My mind was a little bit somewhere else, with someone else.

Last night, my friend, Sarah, and I went to see the spectacular foreign vampire film, Let The Right One In. It’s playing at the very old, and very gorgeous Tampa Theatre. I’d been there plenty of times for concerts, but last night was my first movie. It was a rather beautiful movie, but I want to see it one more time before I really write about it. 

For Christmas, a friend, Jayleen, got me an Amazon gift certificate which I promptly used to buy Incesticde, the only Nirvana CD I didn’t own. I totally love it, particularly Stain, Big Long Now and Downer (Downer being originally found on their first album, Bleach). Obviously, I only like the happy music. Though, lately I’m really digging Tracy Shedd’s Cigarettes & Smoke Machines. It’s music that sounds sad, but her lyrics are actually pretty “up,” as “up” as I like to hear. Also, Cigarettes & Smoke Machines is just a fucking cool album name.

I’ve been to see Doubt four times now. Honestly, that movie is as relaxing as any drink for me. It’s so compelling and brilliantly acted that I just kind of lose myself in it. Also, I have decided that I want to become a nun.

Yesterday, my allergist said I’m “an inspiration,” which is interesting, as I’d only known him for fifteen minutes. I’m not really sure what I did in that amount of time to be inspirational, aside from breathing and moving my eyes. That label is always weird to me. I mean, I understand it, but I don’t think it’s right. I’m nothing spectacular. I do good things sometimes, I totally fuck up sometimes, just like almost anyone.