My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

The world really is a beautiful and radiant place. Tonight reminded me of such.

Today was really hard, all I am is exhausted.

I have absolutely nothing to write, except that I have nothing to write.

So, today totally got away from me.

First, I was supposed to get my main vent swapped out for a fresh one, but somehow the lady not only screwed up setting up the new vent, but she also managed to destroy my previously WORKING vent. She kept connecting me to her “experiments,” I couldn’t breathe, it wasn’t fun. Fortunately, I have my not-fucked-with travel vent, making a potentially deadly situation simply… bad. My friend, Maria, was over during this nonsense, so we didn’t get to hang out at all. A supervisor finally came to fix everything, but by then the day was shot.

This is fucking boring.

So, today was really hectic. Tomorrow I will be able to spend all day writing.

So, right now I’m reading a book that I’ve picked up and put down a lot, The Alienist by Caleb Carr. I don’t even remember why I picked up this book, it’s just been in my stack for years, since before I quit talking. It’s sort of a psychological thriller/murder mystery novel set in kind of an alternate history 1890s New York City. I’m about 75% done, and if Carr didn’t totally bungle the ending, I’ll get to count it as a great read.

We shall see… I aim to do a full write-up.

(Note: I’m now linking book titles/authors to iBooks because I now only read iBooks. I want to help grow the platform, if only a little.).

So, we are now running WordPress 3.8, and my first thought after installation was… OMFG! First, the new installer was totally easy, but when it was over, I didn’t expect anything drastically different. I’ve been using WordPress for YEARS, and sure, they’ve made lots of changes, added functionality, but the overall backend interface (the place where I type my nonsense), the look and feel, hasn’t changed much at all. Until 3.8. There are multiple bold color schemes, cleaner, easier to read fonts, it’s beautiful.

Honestly, now I kind of want to write something every day, the interface is so much nicer.

So, I’ve been known to take “runs” at books. For whatever reason, certain books, at certain points in my life, feel like running up a steep hill. Sometimes, I don’t make it up the first time, or the second… or the third… I can literally take years to get through certain books. I can get two-hundred pages in and just stop, for a very long time, and when I pick it back up, I start over. I don’t do this because they’re bad books, it’s the opposite, I think they’re great books, even important books, books that need read. It’s just, if I don’t feel focused, it seems like a waste. I don’t want to waste one of the potentially important books. If it takes years, it takes years. Once I feel like my head’s in the right place, I fly over that hill.

Over the next little while, I’ll chat about some good books, some truly important books, and two books that I’ll hate until I quit breathing.

Oh Christmas tree…

So, this is my 2013 Christmas tree…

Despise my current downess, I’m really trying to enjoy Christmas. Honestly, no matter what, it really is my favorite time of year. I love the shiny decorations, hunting for presents for people I’m grateful to have around, helping folks who are down on their luck to have fun that many people take for granted, all the Christmas movies, I really am a fan of Christmas. Still, it’s like, all the cheer and bright lights… amplify whatever melancholy I’m feeling. I miss people who are gone, I miss parts of me I’ve lost. It’s… I don’t know.

I have nothing to say. Why in the fuck am I still trying?