My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Dec 24

Midnight mass

Category: Life

Every single year, my family goes to midnight mass to ring in Christmas. This year, I think I’d rather eat glass, or read Dune than sit in church. I just don’t feel it. I also have absolutely no idea how to escape it.

Perhaps Kitty Jesus will show me the way, but I seriously doubt it, being that I’m not a kitty. I know Regular Jesus definitely won’t help me. Santa’s pretty useless too. I suppose death, taxes and midnight mass are just inevitable.


10 Comments so far

  1. Ziztur December 24th, 2008 12:40 pm

    Kitty Jesus can show you the way. He is a loving Jesus and thus opens his heart to non-felines, provided that they:

    1. Love felines
    2. Accept Kitty Jesus as their savior
    3. Accept Kitty Jesus as the savior of kitties

    It also helps if you believe Kitty Jesus was born of a kitty and at noon as an adult took a long nap, but on the third day rose from the bed and chased light rays to kitty heaven.

  2. espo December 24th, 2008 12:56 pm

    Midnight mass isn’t that bad. Can’t you just fall asleep like everyone else? That way you can dream of good stuff like the Dune Sequel.
    Merry Christmas!

  3. Will December 24th, 2008 1:14 pm

    The only saving grace of Mass for me is; I recall why everyone else is there; whether it works for you or not it’s still about unity; an attempt at it anyways; rituals are there for a reason; some really, REALLY need it; your presence is actually helping someone else; once past all that kind of high minded idealism; I get inspired by the smallest of things heard or seen; I make my own meanings out of them, because I have so many issues with religion; so I make my own church of the mind while suffering thru and suddenly the suffering stops; I breath deep, and relax, and do my own review of the year in my head and give thanks to all who helped me live another day with a chance at happiness.

    I also remember each Xmas that when I was a tot; to get thru the boring horror; I’d pretend I had a sidearm in a holster on me and I was my families’ bodyguard and everyone knew it; it was all, don’t eyeball me man; I’m here to quash any ruckus.

    I don’t always succeed but I do appreciate my attempts at humility and giving to others; doing things for family because it’s important to them; so maybe this is the least I can do.

    Midnight Mass: $4 in gas on Mastercard.
    The chanting/bad singing/endless drone: Feels like five years of your life stolen
    Thinking about your own little world and giving thanks then the joy when you leave? Priceless.

  4. Will December 24th, 2008 1:16 pm

    I love being with people. But I need a script, a role, something that will help me overcome my fears of rejection and shame. Most religions and belief systems provide a blueprint for some sort of community. And the religion’s leaders model a way of being. For example, in my book Choke, a character enacts his own death and resurrection every night – as does the narrator in Fight Club. Here’s Jesus, allowing himself to look terrible in front of his peers. That’s the biggest purpose of religious gathering: permission to look terrible in public.
    -Chuck Palahniuk

  5. michael December 24th, 2008 1:59 pm

    Ziztur, are you going Theist? Kitty Christian?

  6. teresa December 24th, 2008 2:34 pm

    Michael- just fake it and don’t fight it and maybe it will help you feel peace.

    Wednesday, December 24, 2008
    An affectionate disposition not only makes the mind more peaceful and calm, but it affects our body in a positive way too.
    – Dalai Lama

  7. mama December 24th, 2008 2:43 pm

    Father, I pray for Michael who is discouraged. He seems to feel that if he waits and watches and nothing happens—nothing changes—he grows more discouraged. He may feel like the prophet who cried out, How long must I call for help before You listen? Help him to not give up, to keep watching for Your answers, to be willing to keep on praying. (Luke 18:1–5)

  8. Gabriele December 24th, 2008 6:40 pm

    No suggestions, no profound comments — just the peace that passes all understanding. It is that peace that I wish for you this evening.

  9. MagnoliaFly December 25th, 2008 9:43 am

    I try to do my part when forced to attend church services I don’t believe in by imagining porn in my head. I think it would make even Kitty Jesus happy. Then I just smile and look around at all the fake people.

  10. Ormolu December 26th, 2008 9:26 pm

    Ziztur, your comment made me lawl.

    mama, though I’m not a religious follower, your words were very powerful.