My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Archive for April, 2009

NeuroSwitch: Day 4

April 23rd, 2009 | Category: Life

Peter’s still writing mad code, we took the evening off for both of us to get a tattoo. It was his first, my nineteenth.


To give an idea

April 22nd, 2009 | Category: Life

So, to give an idea of what I can do with a switch when the switch works, here’s a video of me from back in the day, a year before I quit the world of speaking people. I’ve changed so much since then, I’m not that person anymore. I want to think I’m something better, but I don’t know.


NeuroSwitch Q&A

April 22nd, 2009 | Category: Life

A reader asked…

“How much faster are you than the typical user? Is there a way to gauge that?”

Okay, with my forehead, I can tap the switch twenty-four individual times in eight seconds. For every other NeuroSwitch user that kind of movement is considered a muscle spasm, and it’s filtered into a single tap. For me, however, the movements are deliberate and accurate.

So, Peter Shann Ford is having to write a lot of new code to make NeuroSwitch responsive enough for me. Fortunately, Peter’s a genius, and he said he’s not leaving until he gets it right.


NeuroSwitch: Day 3

April 21st, 2009 | Category: Life

We did more testing, Peter’s writing lots of new code to accommodate my level of speed. It’s not useable, yet.


NeuroSwitch: Day 2

April 20th, 2009 | Category: Life

I was overconfident yesterday, there’s much work ahead.

I’m exhausted, claustrophobic, not capable of objectively writing about the situation. I mentioned the claustrophobia to someone who I thought would understand. She said, “well, that’s better than agoraphobic.” I assume it was a joke, but it hurt spectacularly. I guess I didn’t expect another wanderer of dark places to kick me in mine. I just don’t think my drowning is funny, nobody’s drowning is funny to me.


Tomorrow tomorrow

April 19th, 2009 | Category: Life

Tomorrow I’ll be able to write more like my old self again.

What will I write? Will the static in my head, the reflected sound of everything, will it lead to anything? I don’t know right now, but I’ll know tomorrow tomorrow.


My hand

April 18th, 2009 | Category: Life

My hand hardly works today.


Absolutely fucking amazing

April 17th, 2009 | Category: Life

The NeuroSwitch is absolutely fucking amazing, and Peter Shann Ford, the fellow who created it, is a genius. I’m not using it right now, but on Monday I’ll have my very own set of NeuroSwitch hardware. There’s a little work ahead, I’m faster than the NeuroSwitch was meant to be used, but Peter will fix it. I’m going to do things people have never seen before. I’m going to be a fucking rockstar.

Apparently, it’s not time for me to be a Catholic alcoholic hobo junkie nun. I’m going to be me again.


Catholic alcoholic hobo junkie nun

April 16th, 2009 | Category: Life

If I’m never able to type again, I’m going to become a Catholic alcoholic hobo junkie nun.


I don’t know

April 15th, 2009 | Category: Life

If the NeuroSwitch doesn’t work tomorrow, I’m not really sure what will happen to me. I don’t know if I have it in me not to absolutely fucking snap. Between everything that’s happened with Sara, and my hand, and the rest of my life, I just feel lost. I’m damaged bad at best.


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