My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…
Archive for April 28th, 2009

Memory Lane

April 28th, 2009 | Category: Life,Opinions

This song is really interesting, to me it’s one of the best things Elliott Smith ever wrote. It’s about institutionalization, being hospitalized for depression. When I was in for depression, I went voluntarily. I signed up on purpose, but once you’re in, you’re in for awhile. You can’t just change your mind and go home. Being honest about my dark thoughts at the beginning only made things worse. They pumped me full of drugs I didn’t need, drugs that made me feel like I was dying. I just needed to talk to someone, but nobody would really listen. It was a terrifying experience, just like the song. It seems to mirror many people’s experiences. I’ve talked to several, and we all agree that the thing we learned from going to the hospital for depression is that we never want to go to the hospital for depression.

Memory Lane is so sad and beautiful, because it’s true to me. Darkness is very lonely, most people don’t understand how it feels. People don’t know how to help, so sometimes they don’t even try. Sometimes the “help” you do get only makes things worse. Honestly, I don’t think one can genuinely understand darkness unless they’ve been there, and back. I know that when I need to talk to someone, it’s always better to talk to someone who’s been lost like me. Whenever I meet someone in a dark place, I’m not one to leave them if they need me. We should look out for each other, because I don’t think shiny happy people really know how.


NeuroSwitch: Day 8

April 28th, 2009 | Category: Life

We made spectacular progress today. Things are running faster and more accurately.

Below is my first decent face-to-face conversation using the NeuroSwitch

I really wish that guy had a cape. I actually wish YOU had a cape. I have a cape, actually. and drunk tweeting is NEVER bad. have you found a unicorn stable? maybe, but you’re not really ready. the idea involves duct tape, butterscotch, vodka tonic and a tabby cat. are you really ready for something like that? you really can’t know. you know? it involves wearing the cat as a hat. I did say you aren’t really ready. maybe I’M ready. maybe… you’re quite violent, dear. how’s my typing? it’ll get better, really. I’m totally posting this conversation on the blog.

Tomorrow, we’re shooting some video.