My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…
Archive for March 16th, 2009

My old self

March 16th, 2009 | Category: Life

I have to admit, I’m rather excited about the NeuroSwitch and what it could do. I feel like I could be my old self again, I feel a little of my old arrogance, my confidence. It’s good to be a bit arrogant sometimes, it takes a little arrogance to do things that seem impossible. The last few months have been slowly and quietly breaking me down, as it’s gotten harder and harder to write.

Words are so powerful, they can create reality just as surely as any physical act. Words properly arranged into sentences can inspire fear, sorrow, love, so many emotions. Writing is really the only thing I do well, it’s how I’ve accomplished things that mean everything to me. It’s how I meet people, it’s how I go places, the written word is entirely important to me. Without writing I’m a living corpse, I’m nothing. If I couldn’t write, every dream I have would be ash. I’d never find another lover, or an end to loneliness, I’d have no future that I want. These ideas have terrified me since December, but not today. Not right now.



March 16th, 2009 | Category: Life

So, in about three weeks, a fellow is flying in from Australia to hook me up with a NeuroSwitch. The NeuroSwitch is pretty much the Jason Bourne, the Lestat of switches. It’s a switch that does not fuck around. Kitty Jesus willing, I’ll be back to my old self soon enough.